Hold on tight

Dear you,

Your presence for the last two weeks had been so amazing, and now I understand what they meant about ‘seeing them  in the airport for the first time after being apart for the longest time’. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited and anxious to see you, or that a hug could feel so good. I didn’t know that having you here, would change my entire perception of Adelaide.

I love the way we covered the entire city with our footsteps, hand-in-hand, through the rain and sunshine (and wind). It was such a pleasure, showing you my life, the cafes I like, the food I enjoy, because trust me, every time I try something new or discover a new spot, I made a mental note to bring you when you visit. Overnight, Adelaide became so romantic and dazing. Cold rainy days that I despised became your arms draped over my shoulders trying to squeeze under my tiny foldable umbrella. Mornings were warm and cuddly, your restless turns replaced my morning alarm. Classes were harder to attend because it meant leaving you, but easier to get through because I knew I had you waiting for me at home.

As cheesy as it sounds, I adored having my life revolving around you, once again. It will always be a commitment and dependence that I’d gladly give in to. It felt so right and comfortable that when you left, I felt like reality had taken away my pillar, despite my efforts over the past 7 months of trying to build independence and a sustainable routine.

Now that I know how good having you here feels, it’s difficult to accept and live with my status quo. Adelaide feels strange and familiar at the same time. I’m afraid of how it will feel like, walking along Rundle Mall now, alone, or staring out cafe windows next to an empty seat. I swear, every nook and corner of this city sparks a memory of you, the conversations we had, the things we saw and laughed at.

I haven’t been so excessively emotional for a very long while, the last time probably being January when I first got here. I don’t know why it’s hurting so much because all I need to do is to go back to exactly where I was before the 11th of August, but I think I have already forgot how I lived back then, just like how I have minimal memory of how life was before you came along.

I don’t know if one can miss a person any more than I miss you.

And it’s only been two days.


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