Twenty-first

Gone were the days I wanted to start a brand new year counting backwards on the last 10 seconds of the ending year, surrounded by an enthusiastic crowd, skin sticky from the humidity and sweat, watching balls of energy being shot up into the night sky, exploding into millions of sparkles.

I think I’m growing up. Or growing lazy. Or just growing.

It feels okay to walk around the mall in my Nike running shorts, a finisher’s jersey from a marathon I did not manage to run, and a 4 years old Japanese slippers with faded floral patterns. I stopped worrying that I’ll look like an auntie going to the market on a Monday morning, that my friends will think that I’m an uncool mess if I bumped into any of them. These Dri-FIT shorts don’t strangle my thighs, and they allow me to fold my legs into a Buddha pose when I’m sitting in the car. Oh, and I didn’t want to create more laundry by changing into another more ‘presentable’ shirt.

I get more excited shopping in the groceries store, or Sports Direct (think running shorts with 30% off!) than Forever 21 or H&M or ZARA or Robinsons. I like Mark & Spencer, for their imported cookies and peanut butter. The only shoes I really want right now are the Nike Lunar Tempo, because they actually enhance your (sports) performance instead of giving you red, sore bumps around your feet. I refuse to change my phone because my iPhone5s can fit perfectly in my jeans’ pockets without making me feel like I have a brick stuck on my butt.

I don’t have a list of resolutions for 2k16. All I aim to do is to chase out all superficial thoughts from my head, and fill it with things that matter to me, and people who are close to my heart. I want to stop spending energy seeking for attention and recognition from ‘friends’ on social media, trying to impress those whose admiration will not change a thing.

I hope I learn to give more than I take, to contribute more than I consume, for the people I love and those who love me. To embrace what I have, while they last.

 

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